Last night, we found our new family tradition. I think something that would hold us together had been missing in our duo since the move. It had become "what am I going to do with Xavier?", rather than "what are we going to do together?" Now, I think we've found something that fits perfectly. Our Saturday night picnic and a movie will be a thing of monumental family proportions.
The day started off rather dull and without much get up and go. We didn't leave the house until 1 to run errands. Xavier fell asleep in the car, we were very indecisive, and then we made it home. We had stopped by the redbox, and picked up Despicable Me. I'm thinking, yay, yet another kids' movie.
A couple hours of goofing around pass and it just hit me that maybe we should get the movie started, but that we hadn't had dinner. However, there's no eating on the new couch. It was getting dreadfully close to the tired beyond all reason threshold. Solution: Picnic on the floor. In front of the TV. We laid out the green serape that my brothers and I used to fight over 20 years ago, ate sandwiches off paper plates, and had a lovely time.
They're so little only once. I won't be able to hold him in my arms forever. He won't willingly eat on a blanket spread out on the living room floor with his mom when he's 15. So, forgive me, but there is nothing I would rather do than spend my Saturday night with my little man.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
The process of reinvention
Every once in a while, the universe collapses, or so it seems.
In the last 3 months, our stable lifestyle has seen some shake-ups. Xavier was thankfully with my parents while I had the pleasure of moving on short notice, and changing childcare providers. In addition, I had the pleasure of having my wallet stolen and dealing with my aging parents' health. So far, 2011 has come out swingin'.
However, there's always a benefit to big changes - appreciation of what you do have. I can honestly say that I would not have made it through the last few months without the support of my friends, colleagues and family. I've learned that fair weather friends don't stick around when it gets tough, and I've learned that some of those people who I thought were fair weather, were actually really truly at my side.
So... this year brings with it the practice of gratitude. I'm grateful for everyone, and I mean everyone, who brings that positive energy my way. Whether it's the person who I get breakfast from at 57th and the lake, or the colleague who always smiles and says hello, or the fellow single mama friend who calls and checks in on me, they make this marathon of parenthood bearable.
So with these big changes comes a chance to reinvent who I am and how I see the world. It also brings with it, a new Xavier. He's almost 4... and boy is there a difference between 3 and 4.
So... here are some changes:
Xavier and I sit down and eat together, but now, before we eat, we share a toast and tell each other what we're grateful for. Xavier always goes first, and usually manages to throw in a quip about what he wants for his birthday.
I've stopped feeling guilty for being a parent (who isn't perfect with a child who isn't perfect) and embraced the moment. Xavier is actually remembering things that he wouldn't before. He's at the age in which, he will remember this time of his life. There is no reason why he shouldn't enjoy as much of it as possible. I won't let the critical non-parent or critical and vocal parent get me down - Xavier's only going to be this young once. There's no sense in an overanalysis of all ways in which I fail at being the best.
We do what Xavier wants to do... way more often. He has a voice. He has to learn to use it. Now that Xavier can vocalize what he needs and have those needs met by anyone who speaks English - not just Mommyese, he's learning to express himself. Case in point: 3 weeks ago... I gave him a mohawk. He loves it. I love it. He asked me for it. If he hadn't asked, it wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have asked for that 2 months ago.
There's only one thing that hasn't been altered even in the slightest in the last few months - and that is that no matter what, I will always love and being there for my son.
In the last 3 months, our stable lifestyle has seen some shake-ups. Xavier was thankfully with my parents while I had the pleasure of moving on short notice, and changing childcare providers. In addition, I had the pleasure of having my wallet stolen and dealing with my aging parents' health. So far, 2011 has come out swingin'.
However, there's always a benefit to big changes - appreciation of what you do have. I can honestly say that I would not have made it through the last few months without the support of my friends, colleagues and family. I've learned that fair weather friends don't stick around when it gets tough, and I've learned that some of those people who I thought were fair weather, were actually really truly at my side.
So... this year brings with it the practice of gratitude. I'm grateful for everyone, and I mean everyone, who brings that positive energy my way. Whether it's the person who I get breakfast from at 57th and the lake, or the colleague who always smiles and says hello, or the fellow single mama friend who calls and checks in on me, they make this marathon of parenthood bearable.
So with these big changes comes a chance to reinvent who I am and how I see the world. It also brings with it, a new Xavier. He's almost 4... and boy is there a difference between 3 and 4.
So... here are some changes:
Xavier and I sit down and eat together, but now, before we eat, we share a toast and tell each other what we're grateful for. Xavier always goes first, and usually manages to throw in a quip about what he wants for his birthday.
I've stopped feeling guilty for being a parent (who isn't perfect with a child who isn't perfect) and embraced the moment. Xavier is actually remembering things that he wouldn't before. He's at the age in which, he will remember this time of his life. There is no reason why he shouldn't enjoy as much of it as possible. I won't let the critical non-parent or critical and vocal parent get me down - Xavier's only going to be this young once. There's no sense in an overanalysis of all ways in which I fail at being the best.
We do what Xavier wants to do... way more often. He has a voice. He has to learn to use it. Now that Xavier can vocalize what he needs and have those needs met by anyone who speaks English - not just Mommyese, he's learning to express himself. Case in point: 3 weeks ago... I gave him a mohawk. He loves it. I love it. He asked me for it. If he hadn't asked, it wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have asked for that 2 months ago.
There's only one thing that hasn't been altered even in the slightest in the last few months - and that is that no matter what, I will always love and being there for my son.
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